Return to Imaginationland: The Broken Worlds
by OnigiriReject
Summary: Kyle’s science experiment goes awry, and the five boys get thrown back into Imaginationland, where things aren’t as peaceful as they once were. Will the boys be able to fix Imaginationland and find their way home? No slash, millions of stories involved.


Author: OnigiriReject

Summary: What happens when Kyle's science experiment goes awry, and the five boys get thrown back into Imaginationland, where things aren't as peaceful as they once were? Will the boys be able to fix Imaginationland and find their way home? Millions of crossover, deal with it, they're in Imaginationland.

~South Park and all characters belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, I'm just borrowing them for a little fun. ~

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If you insist on flaming me for my subject choice, I shall quote the mayor from Imaginationland. "Whatever you imagine to be real, as real."

All stories are fair game to put into Imaginationland, be them movies, comics, books, Japanese, commercials, tv shows, etc. I appreciate constructive criticism, but those uncomfortable with my subject matter can just click the back button. Please and thank you!

Betas: Orenji-Un, Emily Cartman and TwilightTemptress

Chapter 1: The World has Turned and Left me Here

"Can you stop flipping that damn thing?!" the boy with the green bunny-eared hat snapped at one of the other teenagers in the basement.

"Oh, is that jealousy I see in your eyes, Kahl, at my super awesome new knife?" the teenager sitting on the couch said, smiling widely. His eyes flashed with malicious happiness at annoying the other boy. He twirled a long red swiss army knife between his fingers.

Kyle growled angrily and pressed the pause button on the controller to his Xbox. "That's a fucking pocketknife, Cartman, and no I'm not jealous, it's just fucking annoying I have to hear you flip it opened and closed every five seconds." He turned back toward the larger boy with shot brown hair and glowered at him with his green eyes.

Cartman laughed, pocketed his knife and crossed his arms. "Whatever, Jew. Just finish the song so I can fucking play." The smile never left his face.

Kyle shot him another look of loathing and turned, anger still apparent on his face, toward the TV.

"Just ignore him," his dark-haired friend said from next to him, a tone of irritation in his voice. Untidy black hair hung over his ears as he attempted to tuck some strands away, looking over at Kyle with his knowing hazel eyes.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "I didn't even invite that asshole…" he said, finally clicking the small 'start' button on the controller again and listening to the rock music blare from the television. The dark-haired boy next to him furiously clicked away on his plastic guitar controller, his unruly black hair falling in his face as he concentrated.

They were sitting in Kyle's basement, just like any other boring Friday night. Ever since his best friend Stan was dumped by his longtime girlfriend, Wendy, two months before, they started dragging him out of bed to get him outside and to stop moping around. They rotated whose house they were at, and this week, they were at Kyle's. Kenny brought over his Xbox and Rock Band set, just to give them something else to do, and so far, Stan hadn't brought up Wendy all night, which the other boys were surely grateful for.

The five of them (Butters included, for he tagged along much of the time) hadn't changed much since elementary school. They were all enrolled in South Park High school, and much like the elementary school, they kept the same teacher for all their subjects. Mr. Garrison was (miraculously) hired by the high school, so nothing much had really changed since they hit junior year except they were slightly taller, and one year closer to graduating.

Kenny still died periodically, and everyday, they learned something, just not as epic or morally righteous as they did when they were younger. Cartman and Kyle still fought about every little thing, and swore they hated each other with every ounce of their being. Kyle didn't even invite Cartman along most of the time, he just showed up, like tonight. Cartman had changed the most looks-wise out of the five of them, losing most of the fat he had when he was younger. His taller body stretched all his younger fat out, so what remained on his large frame was mostly muscle. He was still larger than the others though, and with his short brown hair, he had abandoned his hat. His mother still spoiled him rotten though.

The lyrics for 'Don't Stop Believin' were scrolling across the top of the screen as Kyle pressed the color keys on the plastic bass. Stan continued to hit every note perfectly on the guitar side, and just hit 'starpower' for extra points. His notes glowed white as their two blonde friends, Butters and Kenny, sat to his left. Butters was playing drums on easy mode, and still hadn't quite gotten used to the foot pedal, so Kyle kept having to pause it and point out things.

Kenny began to sing the vocals, and quite well considering he died from tuberculosis the week before. He still wore an orange parka, but had to get a new one. Even though his family was poor, they realized that their five foot nine son would need a new jacket, so they splurged and eventually could afford a bigger one. His long blonde hair hung to his shoulders, as it was slightly greasy, and he had dark blue eyes. Butters had shorter and lighter blonde hair than Kenny, and, between his Hello Kitty paraphernalia and his baby blue Gap shirts, still resembled a trembling puppy most of the time.

"Awww…" he said as the drummer screen died yet again as he failed out. Kyle groaned in annoyance and jerked his guitar toward him, saving him and bringing Butters back into the game.

"Thanks Kyle!" he said happily, narrowing his eyes and staring at the screen like he was concentrating really hard.

The other boys had all abandoned their signature headgear long ago, but Kyle, embarrassed by his Jewfro, still wore his green hat. His mother, Sheila, was still a strict parent, and Kyle studied hard because of it. He had the best grades out of the five of them and ended up tutoring them and sharing homework a lot. Stan was still his BFF, and even though he thought Stan was a pathetic pussy when it came to Wendy, he still put up with him.

Four minutes later, Kyle and Stan sighed in unison as the song ended and they looked at their scores. Both achieved 100% on expert mode, an achievement worth celebrating.

"Yes!" Stan cheered, giving his best friend a high five. Kyle smiled and returned the gesture as Cartman stood up to grab the microphone from Kenny.

Kenny handed it over, then glanced to his left when something caught his eye in the corner of the room. "Kyle, what's that?"

He gestured to a corner of the room where Kyle's computer lay on the carpet, behind which was a desk covered in miscellaneous metal objects and a sheet, as if Kyle attempted to hide it and failed.

Kyle lowered his eyes and answered quietly, "It's my science project."

Kenny stepped forward, interested, but Stan remained back, his hand still on the guitar. He looked confused, "Kyle, why are you working on it now? The Science fair isn't for another three months. I haven't even started my project."

"Well…" the redhead said, looking awkward, "truthfully, this is something I've been researching for a while. Ever since we went to Imaginationland in fourth grade…"

All the other boys except Kenny exchanged worried glances. Kenny, not having much of anything to do with Imaginationland in the past, just looked curious. "Continue."

Kyle walked toward his laptop and placed it on the desk, turning it on. He then proceeded to pull the sheet off the desk, revealing even more strange looking machinery of various shapes and sizes, some with broken lights, others with wires sticking out of them. The computer wurred into motion as it turned on, the booting up noise blaring through the loud speakers. There was a lone flash drive sitting next to the metal scraps. Kyle seemed almost ashamed of what he was revealing to his friends, and stared at his feet for a moment, before continuing.

"Stan and I had a telepathic connection while he was in there. After I almost got killed by ManBearPig," he purposely avoided looking at Cartman for a second, "I could hear him in my mind."

Stan nodded knowledgably, while Cartman appeared bored, and turned his back on Kyle, in favor of the bowl of Cheesy Poofs he left half full on the couch. Butters looked slightly scared at the mention of the imaginary world where he was once the savior and worshipped as a 'Creator'.

"As you guys know, when we were about twelve, the government decided to destroy their portal to the imagination, deciding the power was too great for even our government to have. After Project Imagination Doorway was vacated, I contacted the Pentagon and asked for the remains of the portal, so as to study the sequence and data left in the machine. As soon as we got back from Imaginationland, I recorded what I remembered of the Imagination song onto a flash drive, just in case we'd ever have to use it again." He motioned to the flash drive on the desk. Cartman popped another Cheesy Poof in his mouth.

"With all the data I've compiled, it is possible to reenter Imaginationland, I'm sure. But, I agree with the government, that the power was too great and should be left alone. I've just been compiling data- I'm sure I'll get an A for that without proving the portal works," Kyle concluded, looking up and meeting his friends' eyes again.

There was a silence as his three friends (and one enemy) thought over his words.

"So… you're saying you can go into Imaginationland again?" Butters asked, shifting between his feet nervously. "The Council of Nine contacted me a few years ago… when the Pentagon destroyed their portal. They said they were changing a few things, but couldn't tell me what. They just said they wouldn't need me as a Creator again…"

Kyle met his gaze, "It could work. I don't know because I haven't tested it, it's pretty unpredictable right now. Like a bunch of unstable chemicals. Besides, with all the stuff that happened because of Imaginationland last time, I don't want to go back." Butters and Stan nodded in agreement. Kenny just stared at the menacing-looking machine behind Kyle. Cartman, again, looked as if he could care less either way. Noisy Jews were annoying.

Kyle waved away Butters' scared look with his hand and continued, "This was all just for research, just in case the Soviets back in the Cold War actually do have a portal and the government can try to use it. Or if the terrorists find a way back in again, it'll be okay." He sat down in an armchair and placed his hands behind his head. "Whatever. I'll get an A on the project anyway, and that's what matters."

Butters' fears seemed to be put at ease, as he walked back over to the drum set in front of the TV and clicked next, to bring up the song listing again. Kenny, too, walked back to the instruments and picked up the bass. He looked perturbed by the metal scraps still-but considering his history with large metal objects, it was slightly understood. Stan joined them and picked up the plastic guitar controller again.

"You wanna go again, dude?" Stan asked, holding out the controller to Kyle.

Kyle shook his head and shook his head, "No, I'm gonna go order us some pizza. I'll be right back, and don't fucking touch my project," Kyle looked directly at Cartman as he said this. Cartman snorted and put down the bowl of Cheesy Poofs.

"Like I'd wanna touch your faggy-ass science project, dickhole, just go order the pizza."

Kyle rolled his eyes in disgust, "I don't even know why you're fucking here if you're gonna be such an asshole…" he turned around and walked up the stairs, out of sight.

Stan glanced over at Cartman as he scrolled through the list of song choices on Kenny's Xbox, "Dude, you could be a little nicer to him. After all the shit we've been through and how many times he's saved your ass, you could afford to at least be tolerable. And he didn't even fucking ask you to come-

"Shut up, asshole, at least my girlfriend didn't dump me for Token."

Stan looked as if Cartman slapped him in the face. He stopped scrolling for a moment and paused to narrow his eyes at Cartman and say in his most threatening voice, "Fuck off, fatass. At least my friends like me."

Cartman looked as if he was going to say something back, but was interrupted by Kenny clicking on his guitar and selecting a song before anyone could say a word in edgewise. It was 'Prequel to the Sequel' by Between the Buried and Me, one of the hardest vocal songs on the game. Chosen specifically for Cartman. Kenny smiled to himself and his diabolicalness.

While Stan's irritation toward the asshole was cooling down slightly, he clicked ok and the song started. Cartman, bored and not especially wanting to do vocals, glanced back toward the corner where Kyle's machine lay. He wandered over to Kyle's laptop and picked up the flash drive Kyle left on the desk. After flipping it over in his hands a few times, he stuck the flash drive into the side of the computer.

Stan couldn't look over at that moment, he was playing furiously tapping away on expert mode, alongside Kenny and Butters. "Cartman, where are you going? You have vocals."

"Yeah I'll be right there," he said distractedly, clicking the computer files until he saw the flash drive and the audio file on it. He double clicked it and it opened up in iTunes. It was entitled "Imaginationland 2007" and began to play.

Cartman could barely hear it over Stan's guitar and Butters' drums, but he could vaguely make out the sound of Kyle's eight year-old voice singing the word 'imagination' over and over again with different tones. He was horribly off pitch too.

Cartman laughed, "Dude, Kahl fucking sucks at singing."

Stan heard Cartman's comment and finally glanced over at what he was doing and pressed pause on the game. His eyes widened in horror, "Cartman, what're you doing?? Turn that off!!"

"Why, you think it's that bad?" a wide smile spread across his face as he laughed at Kyle's singing voice.

Stan threw the guitar off of himself and lunged at Cartman, eyes ablaze with anger and worry, "No, the song is a fucking multi-tonal code to open up the portal, if you play it then-

"CARTMAN!!" the redhead was heard at the top of the stairs. He quickly ran down the stairs and within two seconds launched himself at the computer, pulling the flash drive out. He breathed heavily and shot a look of pure loathing at the larger boy. "You idiot!! Do you know what could have happened if that worked-

Suddenly, the desk where the remains of Project Imagination Doorway laid shook heavily, causing the whole room to vibrate. Sparks flew off various pieces of machinery as some started to levitate. The boys watched, mouths wide open, as the scraps of metal began to swirl around each other and form a mini tornado of glowing electronics. Kyle's eardrums felt as if they were going to burst from the sonic booms emanating from his computer. His singing through the loudspeakers grew louder and became garbled, sounding like a dying cat in a blender.

"Oh, hamburgers," Butters said, dropping the drumsticks and standing up quickly, backing up toward the other end of the room and tripping over a box full of old toys. Kenny pulled off his hood and gazed in awe at the bright light now shining from the levitating machine parts.

Kyle twisted his head toward his friends, "Stan, go!!" he yelled, grabbing Cartman's wrist and attempting to pull him away from his science project. "It's unstable, it's gonna blow!"

Stan nodded once and began to run toward the stairs, followed by Kenny dragging Butters. Kyle tried to pull Cartman as well, but the other boy wouldn't budge, instead stared, mouth agape, at the destruction his antic was causing.

"Cartman, we have to go!!" Kyle yelled, yanking on Cartman's arm again.

Cartman turned toward Kyle as the wind around them suddenly grew very fast and caused Kyle's hat to go askew. A wide smile seemed to unzip his face as he stared down at the Jewish boy.  
"I hate you," he said bluntly as a white light engulfed the entire area, followed by a menacing boom.

--

"This is Tom from Fox News, reporting live from the remains of South Park, Colorado. Last night at about ten thirty pm, there appears to have been a giant explosion from one of the houses, wiping out all life from the town. The police are still unsure as to exactly what happened. Over four hundred people dead or missing. Not even a mailbox remains in this mess, Jim. Everything is just gone.

We asked the president earlier if he thought it was another terrorist attack, or if North Korea's missiles finally hit us, but he had no comment.

Whatever happened here, we will surely mourn the lives of the people who lived in this small mountain town. Wherever they may be now, they have our prayers. Back to you, Jim."

--

--

--

"Where…where am I?" Butters asked himself in the darkness, attempting to observe his surroundings. "Ke-kenny? Stan? Kyle? Eric??"

He seemed to be in a very abandoned area, in a parking lot full of rusty old cars, next to a musty-looking house with dimly lit windows. He could hear noises coming from the bottom floor, so he slowly walked in the darkness toward the door.

"The first rule of fight club is… you do not talk about fight club," Butters could hear a confident voice say from inside. Heat emanated from the door, as if there were many people inside. "The second rule of fight club is, you do NOT TALK about fight club. The third rule of fight club is, two men per fight."

Butters pressed his ear against the door to get a better listen as to the conversation, "The fourth rule of fight club is, one fight at a time. The fifth rule of fight club is no shirts, no shoes. The sixth rule of fight club is fights go on as long as they have to."

The door Butters had his ear against suddenly swung inward, leaving Butters to fall on the linoleum of the room; his head made a loud smacking noise as it collided with the floor. He groaned and looked up, seeing a room full of forty to fifty men, all larger and older than Butters' scrawny seventeen-year-old self. He clamored to stand up and looked around, trying to act as if he belonged.

The room was dimly lit and vaguely smelled of old sweat. Men were removing their belts and watches as they watched the man in the front of the room, who appeared to be the leader, continue, as if never interrupted by Butters' sudden entrance. He stood under the one light in the room full of after-midnight blackness and sweaty men.

"And the seventh rule," he yelled to the crowd, smiling, "If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight."

Many of the men who saw Butters' entrance in the room turned toward him expectantly, some cracking their knuckles. The timid boy slowly realized what affect that rule would have on him.

"Oh hamburgers…" he said quietly as a hand reached toward him and took a tight hold of his shirt, yanking him toward the center of the room.

--

"God damnit…" Kyle mumbled into the ground as he slowly regained consciousness. His whole body hurt- it felt as if he fell from a twenty-story building, broke every bone in his body, and somehow was completely healed again, but still in agonizing pain. He wiggled the fingers on his right hand to make sure they still worked, then moved his elbow and shoulder. He repeated this movement with both his legs and left arm and apparently, despite his overwhelming aches and pains, he was still in one piece.

He slowly realized by the texture of the dirt underneath him, instead of snow, that he was no longer in his house on a cozy carpet, let alone the snowy ground of South Park.

"What happened…?" he said confused, his voice slightly muffled by the ground as he attempted to open his eyes. There was a bright blur of orange in front of him, surrounded by the greens and browns of the ground and trees. "Where…" he closed his eyes again, wincing at his headache. He started to remember what the last thing he could remember was. When Cartman was playing with his science project, and blew up the basement.

Kyle groaned as he pushed himself off the ground and shook his head again, his vision still fuzzy from his impact with the ground. The orange blur began to take on a human-like form as Kyle slowly stood. He blinked, and the world around him seemed to finally make sense. He was surrounded by trees- probably in a forest. They had many branches and were too tall for him to even attempt to climb. He looked at his surroundings again and the orange blur was gone.

Kyle readjusted his green bunny-eared hat and called out to the forest, "Hello?"

Silence. He furrowed his brows and encircled his mouth with his hands, breathing in deeply before yelling. "BUTTERS!!" He screamed. The echo bounced around the forest and reverberated in Kyle's ears. "KENNY!! CARTMAN!!! STAAAAN!!"

He was greeted with the sounds of birds chirping in the distance as he felt his stomach drop. Obviously, he was not in South Park anymore. He made a low growling noise and cursed.

"Fucking Cartman… touching things when I told him not to, it was obviously fucking unstable!! Now I've been thrown into another town!!" He kicked at the dirt angrily, showering his jeans and sneakers with a fresh coat of dust, and stomped toward the tree closest to him.

"GOD DAMNIT!" He yelled, tightening his right hand into a fist and throwing it at the bark with all his might. He winced slightly at the impact as the birds at the top of the tree flew off, disturbed by the sudden vibrations and loud noises at the base of the tree.

"Shit…" he cursed again. They really messed up this time. Not only was Kyle completely clueless as to where he was, he didn't have his phone and they were all separated. He assumed that the other four boys were somewhere nearby, and had hopefully escaped as unscathed and Kyle.

The sudden image of Cartman careening through the sky and landing in a big pile of glass popped into Kyle's head. He smiled maliciously. _Scratch that. I hope Cartman is bleeding somewhere, alone and pathetic. It's his fault this happened anyway._

Kyle looked back toward the tree his fist was rested on and noticed something odd. There was a strange, dark object sticking out of the tree, a circle at the end protruding from the bark. Kyle grabbed it, pulled, and with a '_shink_' the object came out.

Kyle inspected it with the inkling feeling he'd seen something like this before. The edge that was inside the tree was actually sharp and pointed, like a short dark knife, but the other end was a thin cylinder, and ended with a circle. He tossed it back and forth between his hands before remembering from his days as a kid in South Park, when he, Cartman, Stan and Kenny bought weapons from the Far East from a weapons dealer at the county fair. _That was the same day they got a shuriken stuck in Butters eye and had to dress him up as a dog_, Kyle remembered with dismay. Probably not one of the more impressive moments from his childhood.

He remembered seeing this kind of knife in the glass case. He thought for a moment, trying to remember what it was called, and held it away from his body as he thought it over.

"A… kunai knife?"

"HEY YOU!" A raspy voice said from above him. Kyle dropped the knife quickly and looked up, and was met with a pair of bright blue eyes about three inches away from his face.

"AAAHHHH!!" His scream caused all the birds in the forest to leave their roosts and take flight in the sky, cawing in annoyance at whoever disturbed them.

Kyle landed on the ground again with his back to the tree as the figure jumped in front of him and leaned into his space. He suddenly remembered the orange figure he saw when he was still dazed from his fall, and realized that it was this boy.

The boy looked maybe twelve or thirteen, but was the same height as Kyle. He wore a what appeared to be a bright orange jumpsuit and had on a strange headband around his forehead with a metal carving of a leaf in it. His bright blonde hair was short a spiky, sticking out at odd angles not normal for a person, and his blue eyes peered suspiciously at Kyle. His cheeks had three lines on each, resembling whiskers.

Yep. Definitely not in South Park anymore.

The boy looked him up and down before loudly asking, "What village are you from?"

Kyle blinked, slightly confused from the question. "Excuse me?"

The boy squatted down next to him and crossed his arms, "I said, what village are you from? You landed over there in the middle of my training in a big flash of light…" he pointed to the darkened part of land Kyle had woken up on, "Using some Ninjitsu I never saw before, so… what village do you train in?"

Kyle blinked again, feeling uncomfortable under the strange boy's gaze, and attempted to sit up. "I'm from… South Park… it's not really a village so much as a town."

The boy tilted his head to the side and smiled, his eyes narrowing to slits from his big cheeks, "Yeah. You don't look like you're from any village around here… What kind of Ninjitsu was that anyway?" he plopped down in the dirt next to Kyle.

"It wasn't a… 'ninjitsu' or whatever you just called it," Kyle said, draping his arms across his legs and burying his head angrily in them. "I… did something bad where I live, and now I don't know where I ended up as a result."

The blonde boy looked like he was trying to understand what Kyle was saying, but failing miserably.

"Where am I exactly?" Kyle looked up, meeting the blonde boy's bright blue eyes again as he asked.

The blonde boy rocked back and forth in the dirt and continued to stare curiously at Kyle. "This is my secret training spot, away from Master Kakashi and my other team members…" he said, his face darkening at the mention of his 'team members', "It's right outside my village."

Kyle began to realize he was actually speaking to an idiot. He sighed and decided it was okay to ask, "Does anyone in your 'village' have a map of some sort? So I can see where I am?"

"Yeah, the Hokage has a big one right in his office!" he beamed at Kyle again, looking proud for some odd reason. "But… the location of my village is supposed to be a secret," the blonde said, scratching at his head as he thought. "I'm still not completely sure you're not a spy from the Sound Village. Or the Sand Village."

"I'm not a spy, I don't even know what fucking ninjitsu is-" Kyle began, getting slightly annoyed. The other boy clapped his hands together and smiled.

"I know what to do!" he looked extremely proud of himself as Kyle just looked confused.

"_Sexy no jutsu_!" he yelled, jumping up and putting his fingers crossed in the shape of a T. In another second, the blonde boy was shrouded in a cloud of smoke and replaced by a large-breasted naked blonde female making kissy faces at Kyle.

Kyle screamed again and fell back into the tree, knocking his head against a low branch. A searing pain emanating from the back of his head jolted through Kyle as he slumped against the ground again and blackness crept over his consciousness.

--

"KAHL!! YOU NOSY JEW-RAT, SHOW YOURSELF!!" Cartman yelled loudly as he tromped through a brightly colored patch of trees. "YOU GUYS, THIS ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY! NOW STOP JOKING BEFORE I REALLY LOSE IT!!"

His foot caught on a root and he fell forward into a pile of leaves. He cursed again and pushed himself up. "Where the hell am I?!"

Cartman stood up again and looked around the forest. Again, he could see no way out. Just more annoying brightly colored flowers a trees. He swore he could smell happiness and good will from every corner of the forest. He kicked angrily at the leaves and stomped around, until he heard some voices from farther ahead.

"Hello?" he called, quickening his pace even though his feet hurt from walking around the forest all day. Hi jeans were ripped in a bunch of places from the thorny bushes he woke up in and he was cut in a few places on his face and hands. I must've fallen asleep or something… and that sneaky Jew-rat thought it would be fun to leave me in the forest somewhere. Last time I'll ever trust any of those guys again. His short brown hair sticking up in random directions and widened eyes added more to his disheveled appearance.

He wedged himself between yet another rose bush and tree, and fell into a clearing of sorts. Voices were coming from the area ahead of him. His face twisted in rage, "Hey, I'm talking to you! Fucking show yourselves, guys!"

The bushes ahead of him rustled as an innocent looking bunny-rabbit with grey hair and large blue eyes hopped out. He eyed Cartman and thumped his leg against the ground. Cartman's brown eyes widened at the appearance of even more cute forest creatures, such as a skunk, a baby deer, different types of birds and two chipmunks, emerging from behind the trees and in other bushes.

"Hi, my name is Thumper, because I like to thump!" the adorable little bunny said. Cartman was certainly not expecting a horde of animals to emerge from the bushes, let alone start a conversation with him. And, being of sound mind and sanity, he could have been knocked over with a feather after the rabbit spoke. _Well, I shouldn't be too surprised… I've seen talking Christmas poo before, so this is definitely a step up…_

"What's your name?" the little bunny said, hopping toward the teenager and smiling. The other animals slowly walked toward Cartman.

"STAY THE FUCK BACK!!" Cartman yelled suddenly, backing into the tree, pulling his pocketknife out of his jeans and flipping it open, pointing it wildly at the animals. "I mean it- stay back!"

The animals stopped moving, and surprised at Cartman's violent reaction, backed a couple of steps into the bushes. Some of the birds even flew off.

"Now one of you, tell me the fuck where I am!! Because where I come from, animals don't just suddenly start speaking!!"

The bunny named Thumper pricked up his ears and looked at Cartman curiously, "You're in the Forest of Yen Sid, where all the talking animals live together in harmony."

"And bound around happily!" the young deer added in.

"And sing songs!" one of the mice from the ground added in, the other mice nodding enthusiastically.

"Jesus Christ…" Cartman said, backing farther into the tree, but still brandishing his knife. He put one hand over his face as a look of sheer horror overcame his features, "I'm in hell. Kahl fucking killed me and now I'm in hell."

The chipmunk with the red nose quickly darted toward Cartman's feet, and before he could stop him, scurried up his pants leg, followed by his shirt, and ended by sitting on Cartman's shoulder.

"Gawrsh, you're not in hell," he said in a goofy high pitched voice.

Before Cartman had time to react, the other chipmunk, instead with a black nose, did the same thing to the other side of Cartman's body, and sat on the opposite shoulder.

"Yeah, like Thumper said, you're in Yen Sid's forest," the other chipmunk said, sounding slightly more educated than the other chipmunk, but his voice still resembled being on helium.

"I'm Dale," the goofy chipmunk on his left shoulder said.

"And I'm Chip," the smart one said on his right.

"You're the first human to appear in this forest in a long time."

"Yeah, the other ones all left eventually. This may be Yen Sid's property, but he is way far away right now. We're not sure where."

"There's a girl who lives on the path down there, we can take you to her. She might know more than us"

"We sure can!"

"Enough!" Cartman yelled, scaring the remaining critters, besides Thumper, Chip, Dale and the young deer away. "Take me to whoever the fuck is in charge of this forest right now!"

Thumper smiled brightly and hopped toward the right, into a thinner patch of trees. "This way will take you to their cottage," he glanced over his shoulder, back at Cartman. "Why're you in our forest anyway? You don't look like someone that needs to be hidden away from their wicked relatives."

Cartman cautiously followed the bunny, Chip and Dale still sitting on his shoulders, with the deer following close behind, and flipped the knife back into its red case. "Because someone I know is a dumb Jew," he said quietly, a crease between his eyebrows and his eyes downcast. He continued to follow the friendly woodland critters through the forest, without another word.

--

--

Copyright info:

South Park and all its characters © Matt Stone and Trey Parker of Comedy Central

Chip and Dale, Bambi, Thumper © Disney

Naruto and all it encompasses © Masashi Kishimoto and Shonen Jump


End file.
